My Dedicated Server Provider Makes My Life Very Difficult by Ricardo d Argence

It's not about servicing the hardware anymore; it's all about servicing the hardware user. It's about support. I was quite happy when my dedicated server provider sent me an e-mail, so I could tell him what problems I had.

Subject: Message from your dedicated server provider. ID# 1066019. From: Michael Leven.

Hello. I was just contacting you today to see how things are going for you all at Liquidweb. Please don't hesitate to ask if there is anything I can help with, and also, I would appreciate any updates as far as how things are going for you here. I know your time is important, so I would like to thank you ahead of time for taking time for me.

Regards, Michael. Technical Sales Engineer.

Subject: Re: Message from your dedicated server provider. ID# 1057812. From: Ricardo d Argence.

Hello Mike, my deepest gratitude for intitating communcations with myself. Liquidweb has proven to be problematic for me, unfortunately. I'll tell you about my issues.

Earlier, one of my servers required a RAM upgrade. After turning in my ticket, it took one hour for the ram to be installed. Sixty minutes! I had to sit there all day, staring at my computer screen, not doing anything! A customer's site was inadvertently deleted by one of the techs, and support had it back, up, and running in no time. The customer hadn't even been aware of it! What's the hurry? Where are in such a rush to get to?

I'm changing into a very boring person. My friends speak daily about their problems with various clients and service providers. When people ask how my work is going, my only reply is a meek "Uhh, fine. Not a thing has happened since I switched to liquidweb!" I have a hunch that I'm starting to bug them. I need some issues to discuss!

I spend a lot of time with my girlfriend and pay a lot of attention to her, much to her surprize. I can no longer use the excuse "my server crashed so I have to try to fix it" in order to hide out. She has lost all trust in me. It was quite an error to let her see the Heroic support guarantee (what an error showing her the Heroic support warranty was!). There aren't many more places I can take her to eat, or movies that we haven't seen. How much is she paying you?

I need the extra adrenaline high so I have taken up car racing, boxing and rock climbing just to avoid flat lining! I have so little stress that I'm running the risk of becoming a Tibetan monk! Hopefully, you can help me before things grow dire. Now, please accept my excuses as I have to catch a plane. My life has been pretty boring lately, so I think I'll try jumping from a perfectly good airplane.

Regards, Ricardo d Argence.

About the Author

We at The Bored IT are suffering from lack of excitement because of our Dedicated Server Provider. Do you want to know why? Visit our website.
Alojate.com is the best web hosting company in Mexico.

My Eighteen Month Old Little Girl Scares Me by Dan Bimrose

I have two sixteen year old boys. I have one 6 year old son. I have two girls under the age of 18 months. I have learned how to handle the boys. I have a great deal of experience with boys. I was once a boy. That helps.

With girls however, I am breaking new ground. All of my children are perfect of course. Yet for some reason my eighteen month old little girl sometimes, well quite honestly, she makes me tremble with fear. Is she adorable? Absolutely. Does she make me laugh? Multiple times every day.

I am sure you are wondering by this point what exactly is the problem. I will tell you. She has an utter fascination with shoes.

I know, I know all little kids like to put on their parents shoes. No, it is much more serious than that. Admittedly she does not discriminate. She is just as likely to put on my work boots as she is her mother's tennis shoes. She spends the majority of the day clomping around in some oversized pair of shoes. So much so that I am scared she will turn her ankle some day.

So what is it that is scaring me? It is a combination of factors.

The first one is that "shoe" is one of the first three words that she learned. She learned how to say "Mommy" first of course. Then she learned how to say "shoe" and then she learned "Daddy". You can see where I rank.

The second thing is that she can walk in a pair of high heels as good as any adult. I am not kidding on this one. I have never tried walking in a pair of high heels. I do not know first hand what the difficulty factor is. I did have the impression, however, that it was a rather difficult thing for some to master. Yet my eighteen month old has done so. Is this normal? Is she a phenomenon like Tiger Woods? The problem as I see it is that Tiger Woods special ability would eventually make him millions and millions. My daughter's ability could potentially cost me dearly.

There is just one more thing. My wife told me the other day that while she was cleaning the house she walked by our daughter while she was flipping through a People magazine. Libby (a.k.a the princess) had stopped on a page in the magazine which was devoted to showing us what certain stars were wearing to a red carpet event. She was pointing at the footwear on each picture and saying, "shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes."

This can not be good for me. What does my future hold? I am scared to death that the next word she learns will be "mall". It is one syllable. It would be easy enough for her to say.

I am confident though that it will be a little while before she masters the words, "credit card".

About the Author

Dan Bimrose is the creator of coffeeandprozac.com a website devoted to making people think, laugh or cry. Daily Opinions, Editorials, and Stories He suggests dropping bread crumbs so that you can find your way back on a daily basis.

Men versus Women - Holy Cow are we Different by BIVO

I know they have made games on the subject and songs about opposites attract, but as my wife hosted a jewelry party the other day at my domicile, it reiterated the vast differences between the sexes. Our jewelry party was well attended by female pals of my wife feeling obligated to buy crap they really don't need and didn't intend to buy. Two weeks prior, they got the invitation in the mail and assuredly cursed my wife's name followed by a comment like "crap, now I have to go to another one of those stupid parties and buy something I don't want because she is my friend." Of course the invitation says "just come, your presence is all that matters, you don't have to purchase anything, blah, blah, blah." Of course everyone knows better, if you don't purchase anything you feel like a schlep and once you leave, everyone will be talking about you, so you buy crap you don't want. NEVER, EVER heard of such a party for the guys!!!! Male gatherings involve beer and sports. Very simple and absolutely no obligation ever to buy anything. Can you imagine a guy hosting a Tupperware party? Hey Steve come on over, we are going to have some pops, snacks, and look at some Tupperware, no obligation to buy. Don't think so!! At Christmas, my wife hosted a church fellowship party at our pad. After the obligatory gift exchange, the ladies gathered in a circle, held hands, and sang Christmas carols. HUH!!! Don't see a gaggle of dudes doing anything like that, ever, no matter how many beverages we have consumed. I can see the invitation now. Tom come on over for a night of mirth and merriment. We will have some adult beverages, watch the football game and then maybe huddle in a circle and sing carols. Bet I would get a lot of takers for that.

Then the next day at work, more proof. One of my female co-workers decided to trade clothes with one of my other female co-workers. What would possess one to do that. I asked one of my male cohorts if he minded if I borrowed his pants for tomorrow at work. Surprisingly, he was not overly excited about lending his garb. This is not something that would even enter a guys mind.

My wife has said that this is because nothing ever enters our minds. True I am a much simpler person then my wife, but when things don't make sense, I call it as it is. Having a party that obligates your friends to annex goods that would prefer not to have, makes no sense. Trading clothes, no sense. This of course is just a few simple examples of how the sexes are so different but I suppose that is why we get along so well together - opposite's do attract, and holy cow are we opposite!!

If you found this article useful or enjoyable, please check out my site and other links at http://bivoblogger.blogspot.com

About the Author

http://bivoblogger.blogspot.com

Unique Gifts for the Comedian by Heather Rutherfordstone

So you have a comedian in the family, perhaps a close friend? Whoever this funny guy or gal is to you, you want to find them unique gifts. Finding unique gifts for the chronic comic is difficult because you have to walk the line between humorous and insulting. Here are a few unique gifts for a variety of gag gift tastes:

The Gross Gag Gifts

Gross gifts can be a big hit with those people who are constantly cracking fart jokes and laughing (hard) at their own gassy emissions. For this group there are a number of fart extinguishers, talking toilets, vomit identifier books and hairy butt calendars. No matter the occasion, Spencer’s Gifts is surely the best place to find anything of this nature. You may be surprised by the variation of gross gifts you can find but they’re sure to please the fan of the toilet humor.

Ironic Gifts

Ironic gifts are a personal favorite. Getting a 40 something man a pink porcelain unicorn always gives me a tinge of joy. Handing over a “Happy Second Birthday Big Boy” card to my mother never gets old. Just be sure that you do not choose a gift highlighting something a person is self-conscious about (a curling iron for a bald man for instance).

www.badgiftemporium.com is a great place to find this type of gift. You will find unique gifts for every comic on your list. Dog hair for your aunt, Hello Kitty dolls for dad, and an angel sitting on a burger for your best friend (best vegetarian friend). There are hundreds of unique gifts listed by average people.

The Gift of Comedy

Since gag gifts can be a risky choice, try getting your comedian the gift of comedy. Many stand up comedians now put out CDs and DVDs. You can pry and discover who the recipient likes or you can get a CD or DVD from your own favorite comic as a sort of referral. If stand-up comedy is not their thing try getting seasons of their favorite comedy show on DVD or a few of their favorite movies.

Silly Gadgets

Silly gadgets make great and unique gifts for nearly anyone. By a silly gift I mean something that is practical yet provokes laughter for whatever reason. I recall one year, my mother and I got my father magnetic poetry that featured pick-up lines. As my dad read through the cheesiest pick-up lines he began to cry from laughing so hard. There are hundreds of unique gifts out there that are capable of doing just this:

Funny Tee Shirts
USB Plug-ins
Calendars
Nostalgic Items
Fun Kitchen Utensils

For the best effect find an item that plays off of an inside joke. You and the recipient may be the only two in the room laughing but what a great, hearty laugh it will be.

While gag gifts may be over the top for some, there are still many unique gifts out there that are sure to tickle anyone’s funny bone. You will find that nearly all items can become a unique gifts when you keep a humorous eye peeled.

About the Author

Author, Heather Rutherfordstone, is the co-founder of Argyle Gifts, LLC at www.argylegifts.com; selling unique gifts for special occasions of every variety. Check out our gift guide for more information on finding the perfect gift.

Do Pink Nurses Need Insurance? by Sarah Maple

According to Wikipedia, "Any risk that can be quantified can potentially be insured." This is a relatively easy concept to understand. We take out policies to cover potential risk to pets and cars, and know why it makes sense to have home insurance. However, sometimes the concept of quantifying 'risk' becomes rather a grey area.

It's pretty much understood that as patients we're covered against negligence should we receive treatment from doctors and nurses in hospital. Any 'normal' person attempting to perform First Aid should be aware that if they administer the 'wrong' treatment, they could potentially face a lawsuit, even if they were attempting to save someone's life. However, this weekend I faced the most surreal situation, when someone threatened to sue me because I wasn't a nurse...

Most people know that it is a criminal offence to impersonate a police officer. There are even more obvious dangers posed by those who impersonate members of the medical profession. However, when it comes to theatre, there is room for a little artistic license.

It seemed obvious that on a bright sunny day, five women wondering round pavement cafes, wearing candy-floss pink nurses uniforms and waving (pink) feather dusters, wouldn't possibly be seen as 'real' medics. If there was any doubt about our status, the fact that we administered a range of 'treatments' from dire 'bloke jokes' to candy love heart 'medicine', should have made the performance aspect clear. We were acting.

Therefore, I was left speechless after a vitriolic verbal attack for failing to be a 'real' nurse. Someone overdid it; drank too much in the sunshine, didn't want to leave her café seat, nor would she pay for her drinks. Eventually, the police were called to remove the gin sozzled woman, we saw them departing as we came to the end of a long day performing. We didn't expect what came next.

"You should be ashamed of yourselves", said a rather threatening bloke sporting a mono-brow.

We were confused to say the least.

"You could have stopped all this, it's ruined my day. If you'd done your job, this never would have happened"

We tried to explain the obvious - that we were not really nurses.

"Don't give me that,' he replied, 'I've got good grounds to sue you."

We put it down to too much beer in the sun and hoped he'd go away, leave us to enjoy a well-earned glass of wine. But it didn't stop there. He enlisted the help of a waitress, and told her that we hadn't acted professionally. For some reason, she believed him, decided that we had some connection to the drunken lady and were asked to leave, amidst further threats of suing us for negligence...

Sometime later, as we sat down to free cocktails with an unmitigated apology from the bar manager, our talk turned to concerns about public liability insurance. Clearly, there were many gaps in our knowledge of quantifying 'risk' - not to others, but to ourselves.

About the Author

Get insurance for many things, including car insurance, home insurance and travel insurance, at http://www.confused.com

A funny look at some outrageous bets that have been placed down the years from ordinary people trying to make a quick buck or two! by Paul Steven

Betting is a great form of entertainment and its popularity has spiraled since its birth on the internet. People are now having bets on the most bizarre and surreal situations as well as having a flutter on sport betting, political betting and TV show betting especially song contests.

Through the years there has been some outlandish bets made that are the stuff of legend. Here we highlight some unique and sometimes unfortuitous bets.

The Man Who Bet on his own Life

You've heard of 'Cheating Death' what about 'Betting against Death'? Well, Jon Matthews from Milton Keynes did just that. Back in 2007 he was diagnosed with a rare form of lung cancer and given less than 9 months to live. Defiant Jon made a bet with the bookies of £100 at 50/1 that he would survive the time given for his condition. He did and won £5,000 into the bargain.

I'll Bet My House

Talking about having a premonition! Back in January of 1994, an unnamed man from High Wycombe sold his house for £147,000, bought a plane ticket to Las Vegas and walked in to Binions Horseshoe Casino and placed the entire amount on one spin of the roulette wheel. He put £147,000 on red. The ball settled on seven (red). He had doubled his money and then bought a bigger house.

Bet When The World Ends

This is a good one and perhaps the only strange thing about this bet is the odds. William Hill took a bet that the world would end on the 11th August 1999 at 12:50 pm. William Hill only gave odds of 1,000,000 to 1.

I mean if the punter was right it's going to be pretty darn hard to pick-up his winnings. Bizarre.

The £100,000 Bet For England To Win the World Cup

Back in 2002 when Japan and Korea were hosting the World Cup, England had a team full of stars and Beckam and co were being touted as favourites to win the competition outright. The media, as usual, were caught up in the frenzy of it all as England marched into the Quarter-Finals after beating much fancied Argentina in the group stages and then trouncing Denmark in the 2nd round.

In fact so much was the hype surrounding England that it went straight to one punters head where he placed a bet of £100,000 on England to win the competition. The West Midlands punter staked the six-figure sum at odds of 7/2 at a Ladbrokes shop in Birmingham and expected to win £450,000. Unfortunately, England lost 2 - 1 to Brazil in that Quarter-Final with the brilliance or luck of Ronaldinho being the difference.

And Finally ...

Remember, there is always a possible chance of an outlandish bet coming good. David Threlfal of Preston is testament to that. He placed a bet that Man would walk on the Moon before 1971. When Neil Armstrong planted his big space boot on the Moon's surface, Threlfal was £10,000 richer. Which was a lot of cash back in 1969.

About the Author

Free Betting Online is a great resource for people looking to place free bets from Horse Racing Betting to Political Betting.

Showing Boxers Can Impede Criminals Eluding Police by Dan Bimrose

I, like most respectable rational people just do not get it. The "it" I am referring to is the fashion trend that leads certain people to allow their jeans and/or shorts to fall half way down their rear end.

Perhaps I am just not in touch anymore. Perhaps I am just being "old". After all I used to wear cut off and mesh shirts during the summers when I was a young teen. Thank goodness I never wore spandex bike shorts.

Something tells me though that this trend is a little different. When I see a young man dressed like this I feel that more than likely he is not going to be a contributor to the good of society. The lower his drawers go, the more I am apt to want to steer clear of this individual.

Followers of this trend tend to be thought of as miscreants, hooligans or ne'er do wells by respectable society.

I do not know why I just do not get to the point. If your pants are half way down your butt you look like an idiot.

No prospective employer in his right mind would hire you if you came in for an interview dressed like that. Just thinking about the expression on his or her face makes me laugh.

So if you must must supplement your amateur skateboarding endeavors by burglarizing homes I would like to give you a piece of advice. You can not run from the cops if your pants are around your ankles.

While watching one of the national news channels yesterday I happened to witness a car chase in California. The gentleman driving the car was a suspected burglary suspect.

He was sporting this particular fashion trend. In addition to being chased by a neighborhood dog it appeared that at some point he had to stop to adjust his belt. Apparently this was unsuccessful and you witnessed him holding on to his pants while he was running to keep them from falling down.

It was quite comical and quite fitting.

Here is a question for you. Why wear a belt in the first place if you are going to let your pants fall half a foot below your waist line?

The moral of the story is if you are going to commit a criminal act you might want to dress accordingly.

About the Author

Dan Bimrose is the creator of coffeeandprozac.com a website devoted to making people think, laugh or cry. Daily Opinions, Editorials, and Stories He suggests dropping bread crumbs so that you can find your way back on a daily basis.

Perfumes Enhance the Beauty and Style by Articles Manager

Perfumes are the most sought-after fashionable items that add fragrance and beauty to everyone's life. As a result, choosing the right kind of perfume requires skill and homework. Men and women, young and old, rich and poor all want perfumes of different designs and fragrances. The use of perfumes as a symbol of elegance and style revealed dates back when Egyptians and Romans extensively used various types of perfumes in many ways. Earlier aromatic grasses, wood and spices like cinnamon, cardamoms and fenugreek were squeezed into fluid to produce perfume. Now with the introduction of newer technologies; the process of making perfumes has changed a lot as manufacturers are using man made ingredients to make them cheaper and faster.

Initially, perfumes were used by women. Now the world is getting fashionable and even men love to keep themselves trendy and appealing. Considering the development, manufacturers have created as many male versions of perfumes as female ones. Some of the famous brands of perfume ruling the market include Dolce and Gabbana, Hugo Boss, Jean Paul Gaultier, Tommy Hilfiger, and Weekend and many others. Each perfume can refresh your mind and assists you to attract the opposite sex. It is a fragrance that is very well suited for wearing during the day and to the office.

How to avail the right kind of perfume from the market? This is the most difficult question to be solved. Recently with the coming up of online boutiques, the search for the luring and scented perfume is not a hard nut to crack. In fact, online stores supply the widest collections of branded perfumes at competitive prices. All you need to do is to find a store that offers these excellent perfumes at knock down prices and you will easily become the most sought-after person in your locality in terms of elegance and style.

About the Author

Perfumes New York has a huge collection of Perfumes, Fragrances, French Perfumes and Discontinued Perfume and other many fashionable items. Perfumes are the most sought-after fashionable items that add fragrance and beauty to everyone's life.