Jumat, 05 September 2008

Funny Videos by Lorenz

Are you looking for funny videos and entertainment? There so many of these types of videos on an online social utility networking sites. Social network sites cater to a lot to funny videos to attract more audience and sign ups to their websites. So it is no wonder that this is the place to go if you looking for hilarious and humorous audios and video to watch. From school humor and jokes that are captured on camera by classmates and friends are being uploaded on to their networking sites.

At school and at your workplace, almost every person has a cell phone with camera and every time they see something humorous or hilarious, their camera is on a roll. It is so amazing what science and technology can bring to our world of craziness. I called it craziness because almost anything can be uploaded to a lot of websites and soon tens of thousands if not millions will soon see it. And this captured jokes and humorous stuffs are then forwarded and by some members of the social networking sites.

A good example of this is one where school guys playing shoot ups in a gym and someone with an Iphone was recording it. It so happens the school guys by chance all go up for a loose ball and all the bunch of them ended up piled up in a very hilarious position. That should have ended there and no one other people should have seen that incident again. But because the person recording the whole shoot ups is a member of a social networking site, it was in no time publish and thousands of people were able to view and watch it.

It is not limited to schools where you can get the funniest of these videos. In fact almost anywhere you go just make sure you have your camera or Iphone ready and you can capture the most bizarre and humorous stuffs on the planet. Even ordinary people and tourist traveling with their cameras can capture one of the funniest takes of their lives. Or just a walk in the park can get you some of the most hilarious footage of someone tripping or falling of a golf cart. So it really does not matter where you are or when you can get these humor and funny stuffs.

If you are one of those you are more interested in watching funny stuffs and entertainment, then your best option would through an online social utility networking site. In blogs, forums and funny videos section of the site will provide you with a selection of several funny videos and entertainment. Getting entertained with humor and funny stuffs could be the best way to relax and enjoy life.

About the Author

If You Have Videos Or Funny Videos, Upload Them At AseanFace.com And For More Info on Humor and Funny Stuffs Go To Search Info Source

Funny Videos and Entertainment by Lorenz

The best way to relieve some of your stresses and tensions is to watch funny videos and entertainment. A lot of people practice this and use it as a therapy for relaxation and relieving tensions and anxieties. After a grueling and stressful day at work, a good dose of laughter and jokes can really alleviate those anxious and tense moments. Regardless of where you will get to watch this humor and funny stuffs does not matter as long as you are smiling and laughing.

What else is a better way to relax than to watch funny videos and entertainment? A good dose of funny videos for your entertainment can relieve your stress and tensions after a grueling day at work. Simply relax and watch the funniest and most hilarious movie or video from an online social utility networking site and you will feel better. You can watch this humor and funny stuffs from TV network shows but you have to wait for a specific time when they air them.

But with social network sites, you simply log in to your site and you can start watching them. You have to be member of the networking site in order to be able to watch these funny videos. Once a member, you almost anything you want. Not only watching the funniest video they have on their site but you too can upload your funny videos. You may also read and receive humor and funny stuffs that other members of the site have. They are simply sent to on an instant message or you will receive them in your inbox. These things are very common nowadays on the internet.

Finding the best ways of entertaining yourself is one thing that you must have to do in order to have deviation or diversion from your daily routine. It would be a shame if you do not think of humor and funny stuffs like funny videos as your top option. While there are so many ways of getting yourself relax like a walk in the park and singing, a good laughter is one of the best ways to relax. Relaxation through laughter and humor is actually one of the recommended therapies for relaxation and to relive your tensions.

Entertainment is probably the one the favorite pastime for most people. Even my classmates and friends do always watch entertainment shows and videos. And especially the ones that are very easy to access. The easiest to access is the funny videos and entertainment online. On the internet, you will never fun out of sites that have humorous and hilarious stuffs to watch. Some are free, some you need to be a member and some you need to pay as member in order to be able to watch these funniest and humorous video online.

Most people would prefer the free sites where you can watch and entertain yourself. But the ones that are available on the membership social networks are funnier and hilarious. But still that would largely depend on your personal taste. Every individual have their own preferences and likes, so it will always depend on what type and kind of laughter and humor you would watch.

The bottom line is funny videos and entertainment is the thing that can make you relax and relieve your tensions from your grueling days. And whether you sing up on a social networking site or simply watch them on TV do not really matter. As long as you got your funny videos for your entertainment is the main thing. Just remember when you are feeling and out, watch some humor and funny stuffs like funny videos online or on your favorite television channel.

About the Author

If You Have Videos Or Funny Videos, Upload Them At AseanFace.com And For More Info on Humor and Funny Stuffs Go To Search Info Source

Egg and chips - por favor grasos by Gerry McDonnell

It infuriates me when people are judged on their appearance. Just because Rafa Benitez is a tubby mess, this does not give opposing supporters the right to abuse him.

The Aston Villa supporters went well over the top with their 'Fat Spanish Waiter' banner. Admittedly, he is carrying a few stone overweight, and he's certainly Spanish; but his career as a waiter ended years ago, when he was fired for rotating the starters.

I'm not suggesting that all criticism is unjust; but it should only be directed at his tactical ineptness. Rafa made an error of title-blowing proportions last week when he replaced Torres with Ngog - while Keane and Kuyt looked on incredulously from the wings. You simply can't put square pegs in round holes, as my three-month suspended sentence ultimately confirmed.

The Holte End have an understandable dislike of Benitez after his woeful handling of the Gareth Barry transfer saga. Courting a new player is a lot like investing in late night female entertainment - you're asking for trouble if you just offer half of the fee plus Steve Finnan.

While Benitez miraculously clings on to his post, the equally inept Kevin Keegan appears to have parted company with Newcastle. Mike Ashley's lack of ambition was probably the straw that broke the camel's back - although a drunken Joey Barton was seen in the vicinity of the camel shortly before the injury occurred.

Keegan appeared to be tottering on the edge last weekend, when he berated the Arsenal players for their behaviour towards the recently imprisoned Barton. Gael Clichy did nutmeg the controversial midfielder, but Barton's legs are spread so wide these days that it's practically inevitable.

England are in much better shape under Don Fabio Capello. Capello is no respecter of reputations, as displayed in England's last match where he bravely selected both Lampard and Gerrard.

Harry Redknapp quickly laid into Capello after that match, but he has retracted since. "I don't even know what laying is," claimed the increasingly twitchy soon-to-be ex-Pompey manager.

Capello is a definite personality. He once told Paolo Di Canio that his face looked like a penis. He could say the same about Joey Barton: after all, you are what you eat.

Fabio is probably grateful that Jamie Carragher is no longer available for selection. Fabio is used to dealing with a footballer who resembles a penis - he's had no experience with a penis who resembles a footballer.

Even if Carragher hadn't bottled out of international football, I doubt if Capello would have picked him. Fabio would have blanked him like he was a tax bill.

George Burley is something of an enigma. He's a Scot who basically won the lottery when he was allowed to work in England, but he made the incredible decision to move back to Scotland. That's like a blind man regaining his sight, then asking a cigar-smoking Joey Barton how his brother is.

Backing England against Andorra doesn't appeal at the odds, and I can't get excited about Scotland's chances in Macedonia, so I'll stake one point on Slovakia at home to Northern Ireland at 10/11. FIFA's world rankings currently have Northern Ireland above the Slovaks, but I expect that to last about as long as Joey Barton's pillow.

About the Author

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.

http://www.gmfootball.com

Call in the reinforcements, please by Jennifer Geiser

I have a theory. I think children can smell weakness the way animals can smell fear. Okay maybe they can't smell it exactly, but they sense it somehow. My poor sleep-deprived brain can't come up with any other explanation for the way my kids beat me down on the days when I'm the most tired, stressed, and short on patience. They gang up on me like little Guerrilla fighters. They know they can't best me outright, so they stage small insurrections all day long until I'm finally a quivering wreck at the end of the day. Today has been (correction, still is) that kind of day.

It starts first thing this morning when Bossypants awakens at 6:13 a.m. yelling "Mommy! I want socks! Mooooom! MOMMY! MOM! SOCKS!" Apparently she lost a sock at some point during the night and needs another pair RIGHT NOW. So of course I go to her room, remove a pair of socks from her dresser drawer, and walk the two feet to her bed to put them on her. I'm not quite clear on exactly what prevents her from getting up and getting the socks herself, but I'm still mostly asleep at this point and just do what she wants. Rules of engagement level one: "The subject responds and complies to verbal commands. Close combat techniques do not apply." Check.

Since sleep is no longer a possibility at this point Bossypants wants breakfast. I offer boiled eggs, yogurt, and a banana. Bossypants requests Pop Tarts. I try to explain that Pop Tarts isn't a very good breakfast but am derailed by a bear hug and doe eyes coupled with her sincerest "pleeeeease?" Pop Tarts it is. Rules of engagement level two: "The subject resists verbal commands but complies immediately to any contact controls. Close combat techniques do not apply." Check.

By this time Poopypants is awake. And, true to his name, he has a loaded diaper. I succeed in removing his diaper and getting him squeaky clean but he escapes as I'm wrapping up the nuclear waste for disposal. I catch him again and wrestle him down to try to get the clean diaper on him but Bossypants comes to his aid by launching herself onto my back for an impromptu piggyback ride. Her elbow lands right about where the herniated disc in my neck is. Rules of engagement level three: "The subject initially demonstrates physical resistance. Use compliance techniques to control the situation. Techniques include: Come-along holds, Soft-handed stunning blows, Pain compliance through the use of joint manipulation, and the use of pressure points." Big check.

Time to get dressed. I gather clothes and begin humming the theme from Mission: Impossible. The TV show, not the sucky movie. I get Poopypants dressed without much trouble because by now his attention is fully on the Baby Einstein video I save for just such occasions. Bossypants sits by placidly while I dress her brother but jumps up and begins to run around the house like a drunk quarterback when she senses it's almost her turn. I grab her as she makes a pass through the living room and manage to tug her shirt on. I'm momentarily fooled by the fact that she's laying still, but the joke is on me because she's really reaching into my robe pocket to steal an inkpen. Clutching her prize, she kicks free of my grasp and runs off in pantless victory. I unconvincingly order her to "getoverhererightnowsoyoucangetdressed." She ignores me and continues to zigzag out of my reach. Ends by running into her bedroom and locking the door. Rules of engagement level four: "The subject may physically attack, but does not use a weapon. Use defensive tactics to neutralize the threat. Defensive tactics include: Blocks, Strikes, Kicks, Enhanced pain compliance procedures, Impact weapon blocks and blows." Check.

I retrieve the door key and extract Bossypants from her room. Notice that she has used the inkpen to draw vertical lines on each cheek. Looks suspiciously like war paint. About the time I finally convince her to put on pants she notices that I'm holding a hairbrush aka Instrument Of Torture. Bloodcurdling howls commence. I brush her hair despite the tearful pleading and am almost finished when she looks at me and utters words I've never heard from her before. "We not friends. I want a different mommy." I fall to the floor, dead of a broken heart. Rules of engagement level five: "The subject usually has a weapon and will either kill or injure someone if he/she is not stopped immediately and brought under control. The subject must be controlled by the use of deadly force with or without a firearm or weapon." Check. And the day is only half over.

About the Author

Ordinary stay at home mom (read as sleep deprived, highly caffeinated, and in need of a day off) with three young children. Self-professed beauty junkie with enough product to keep Pamela Anderson happily spackled for a decade or so. Beauty Sleeping (author's blog at http://beautysleeping.wordpress.com) is the daily stuff that makes her crazy, makes her laugh, or makes her cry. Sometimes all three at the same time.

Murphy is a jerk by Jennifer Geiser

So I think to myself this evening "I should do something productive." Don't all disasters start with this kind of innocent thinking? At any rate, despite the nagging tiredness that comes from a day of wrangling young children alone and the pain in my neck from the herniated disc that's awaiting my husband's return from Iraq to be fixed, I decide that this is a good night to steam clean the living room floor. This logic may have been somewhat chemically induced as I take a good deal of pain medication for my arthritis and now for the herniated disc, but let's not dither about that. The floor needed cleaning and I was all over it.

I wait until the kids are tucked in for the night, not only because it's just logistically easier to clean when they're out of the picture but also because they're completely terrified of the steam cleaner. You'd think it was steaming the souls right out of their little bodies the way they cry when I even bring it out of the closet, nevermind actually turning it on. But back to our saga. I put the dog in her crate with a yummy bully stick (if you don't know what this is, get ready) to keep her busy while I work my magic on our poor tired carpet. I get down to the dirty work (no pun intended) and before long I have a gorgeous clean carpet. I'm so proud of myself! About this time the dog starts to whine in her crate with that intensity that says "I need to go outside RIGHT NOW." So I let her outside and finish emptying the water from the steam cleaner and put it away. Dog is back at the door, so I let her in. If this were a movie you'd be hearing the heavy strains of a foreshadowing song right about now.

So apparently at some point between dusk and when I let the dog outside we had a small rain shower. Who knew, right? And maybe the stress of listening to the steam cleaner upset my poor pup's tummy. Or maybe it was the banshee screaming that was soon to come. Who knows. What I do know is that my whole evening was blown to shit in about 30 seconds. It went something like this:

*I open back door

*Muddy hyperactive Doberman flies into living room grinding red mud into clean cream-colored carpet with every horse-sized step

*I begin to yell at mini-horse to STOP. SIT. STAY. DAMN IT I SAID SIT!!

*Horse-Dog ignores me and continues to do zoomies around coffee table

*Floor now looks like I emptied steam cleaner contents directly onto carpet and danced the Macarena afterwards

*Distraught by all the yelling and excitement of the evening, horse-dog promptly empties contents of stomach onto remaining clean patch of floor

*Floor is now a muddy ruin topped with vomit-scented bull penis

*I cry

So there you have it. Murphy's law prevails. It's the story of my life, people.

About the Author

Ordinary stay at home mom (read as sleep deprived, highly caffeinated, and in need of a day off) with three young children. Self-professed beauty junkie with enough product to keep Pamela Anderson happily spackled for a decade or so. Beauty Sleeping (author's blog at http://beautysleeping.wordpress.com) is the daily stuff that makes her crazy, makes her laugh, or makes her cry. Sometimes all three at the same time.

Busstop Anecdote by Phoebs

The amazing story from the busstop on wednesday Random college student at busstop (with his four friends standing right there): hey, want to sit on the bench? Me:....okay RCS:Where are you headed? Me: Collegetown RCS: Oh, me too. So....are you a senior? Me: (Trying to be as honest as possible without telling him I'm in high school) No...I'm a junior RCS: What are you studying? Me: Uhhhhhhh........biology?....What about you? RCS:...............

Then I told him I decided to walk because I realized I would be really embarrassed when we all got on the bus and instead of having a college ID, I would have to pull out my youth "summer fun" pass. How amazingly lame is that. He was kind of attractive too....

About the Author

http://heymyster.blogspot.com/

John McCain Blasted Sarah Palin over the Bridge to Nowhere by Karen Fish

In dramatic irony worthy of William Shakespeare it turns out that Sarah Palin's harshest critic was none other than John McCain. Sarah Palin stood at her debut side by side with John McCain crowing about how she had stopped the bridge to nowhere by telling the congress, "Thanks, but no thanks for the money for the bridgework and the dentures."

In 2005 John McCain was a harsh critic of the $223 million dollar earmark for, and the supporters of, the Alaskan Bridge over the River Kwai, starring Sir Alec Guinness. It now turns out that the busy beaver behind the bridge over troubled water was none other than, drum roll please, Sarah Palin. The bridge to nowhere was Sarah Palin's baby. Building the bridge to nowhere was Sarah Palin's campaign issue. The bridge to nowhere was to be named the Sarah Palin Causeway. Alaska got the money for Sarah Palin's Bridge and Sarah Palin's administration has already spent tens of millions of dollars of our hard earned money building a road on Gravina Island which is to link up to the Palin Causeway.

Sarah Palin was rolled out by the Republican Party as a Reformer, like Martin Luther, like John McCain, who would end wasteful government spending. Now it turns out that when John McCain was blasting the bridge to nowhere, he was blasting Sarah Palin. How is John McCain, the elder statesman of the Republican Party, the architect of the Iraq Iran war, the man behind taking our Clinton surplus to a $10 trillion deficit (a tax on the children) paying for this 100 year war to nowhere, a Reformer who will end wasteful government spending? By the time the American children and grandchildren get through rebuilding the military for $5 trillion more dollars, John McCain will be in dusty history books.

John McCain stood 900th out of 900 people in his naval academy class. Then, in another long and pointless war lost by the United States to tiny North Vietnam and its allies Russia and China, his mind was permanently damaged by repeated torture so visible in his arms. You do not have to be Dr. Phil to understand this. Now, he is suffering from Alzheimer's forgetfulness, senility, and irrational rage. He is standing at a Town Hall Meeting in Middle America singing "Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran." The man needs to be in a home.

It seems like in the race for the Presidency, the spoils of victory go to the biggest liar. The American people cannot seem to get enough of the Bush Cheney lies because now they are poised to elect the mother of lies. John McCain likes to call himself a Maverick. A maverick is a person who takes an independent stand from his party. Did John McCain not vote with George Bush and the Republican Congress to invade Iraq and crucify Natalie Maines? It now turns out that for the past three weeks John McCain had decided to select Joe Lieberman but then the Christian evangelical wing of the party blackmailed him into forgetting about Joe Lieberman and selecting the butt of his criticisms, Sarah Palin.

The difference between the Republican Party and the Democratic Party is that the Republican Party plays super hardball and the Democratic Party plays wiffle ball. The Republican Party nominates people who look super tough on the outside, like John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, George W. "Bring 'em ON" Bush, The Terminator and John McCain. The Democratic Party nominates people who are wimps on the outside, like Jimmy Carter, Walter Mondale, George Mcgovern, Geraldine Ferraro, Barney Fife. John F. Kennedy squeaked in because of PT 109, because he was a war hero. The Democrats have not figured out yet that the people want someone tough on the outside because they feel protected by that person. There is something about Harry "Radar" Reid and Nancy "Quilts" Pelosi that doesn't spell protection.

The other difference between the elephants and the donkeys is that the elephants have no gall, they have no regard for the truth and they will lie, and they will lie and they will lie until the people of the United States of America believe that John Kerry was not a decorated war hero but a fake, and George W. Bush was not an alcoholic deserter but a heroic pilot in the navy declaring Mission Accomplished from the deck of the Abraham Linclon.

Imagine the Republican ads if Barack Obama had stood 900th out of 900 people in his class. He would be Swift Titaniced. There would be a class photo and interviews with all 899 people in his class who beat him calling him an idiot and his teacher saying that he was pressured by his Admiral father and grandfather to pass him. Imagine if Barack Obama had Alzheimers disease and didn't know the difference between Sunni and Shiite and which one Al Qaeda belonged to and which country in the Middle East bordered which country. John McCain had to have Joe Lieberman tug on his shirt to tell him that Iran wasn't training al Qaeda because Iran is Shiite and Al Qaeda is Sunni. What's Sarah Palin going to tell John McCain when he starts having one of his senior moments at 3 am and pushes the button?

Jesus Christ, the Jewish born Rabbi and messiah of Christianitty and Islam said, "You strain at gnats yet you swallow camels whole." As the United States of America sits trapped in the quicksand of Iraq, and the economy teeters on the serge of bankruptcy, and climate change is melting the Arctic and Antarctic which will cause the earth's one ocean to rise 40 feet permanently, as people lose their homes and their jobs, the Republican Party, like David Copperfield and Harry Houdini and Siegfried and Roy, the Republican Party has managed to turn the Presidential election into a referendum on a woman's right to choose.

John McCain and Sarah Palin have been trotted out by the people controlling the Republican party as Reformers, Change Agents. How is removing evolution from the science books and replacing it with Creationism change?

3,200 years ago God of Mount Sinai aka God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, Allah, Yehovah carved the 10 commandments in stone Himself. In the Old Testament, the Holy Scripture of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, the ten commandments are copied straight off of the actual two tablets which were kept in King Solomon's Holy Temple in Jerusalem. King Solomon had 900 wives, mistresses and concubines. Yesterday scientists discovered a gene in the male brain which causes people like John McCain to cheat on their first wife with Cindy and then leave her as she is lying in bed from a car accident.

Today's women can now ask their boyfriends to take the DNA cheaters test prior to responding to their proposal - they just can't have abortions anymore if they are raped, says Sarah Palin, who has "electrified" the Republican base with this pronouncement. A former porn model slutty little lying beauty queen wanabee is going to dictate to every American woman forever what she can and cannot do with her own body. A slutty little lying beauty queen wanabee is going to force thousands of American women to kill themselves doing hanger abortions.

With overpopulation of 6 billion people on planet earth today, up from a million people 2,000 years ago and for 5 million years before that, with overpopulation being the root cause of climate change and global warming and resource wars fighting over oil now leading us all into nuclear world war 3, the Apocalypse, a deranged madman and an ignoramus who says that human beings are not responsible for global warming are now going to outlaw abortion in the United States forever with their Supreme Court selections to overturn Roe Roe Roe your boat, gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

Your God carved the ten commandments in stone Himself. The actual 2 tablets were kept in King Solomon's Temple in Jerusalem. The Bible Writers copied them into the Old Testament verbatim right off the very tablets, in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5. But guess what? In Exodus 20:11 it says, "In six days God made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day." The reason that these words are not written in Deuteronomy 5 is because this is the Babylonian (Iraqi) Creation Myth. The Republican Party has turned the Presidential election into a referendum on whether to stop teaching our children evolution and instead teach them the legend of creation of Saddam Hussein's ancestors.

According to Sarah Palin, nuclear world war 3 will be a good thing because she read in the book Revelations of the Apocalypse that Jesus Christ will fly down from Heaven on his flying horse and defeat the snake, goat, lion Beast, Devil. What Sarah Palin doesn't know is that the New Testament was written 100 years after Jesus died by Greeks. In the Greek Myth Prince Bellerophon flew on his flying horse Pegasus and defeated the snake, goat, lion Chimera. The entire Messiah story upon which Christianity and the Republican Party stands is a dead on plagiarism of a Greek Myth, which has Republicans thinking, "Who cares about nuclear world war 3 and global warming, Jesus will fly down and clean it all up."

Unfortunately when you are brainwashed from birth with these lies your brain swats away the truth like a foreign invader. John McCain can't figure out who to nuke first, the Muslims, the Gooks, the Chinese, the Russians, the Commies, or the Catholics, who his spiritual advisor John Hagee called the "Great Whores of Babylon." Please pass the cherry kool aid, President Palin. Howard K. Stern and Anna Nicole Smith were better qualified than these two yahoos in "The Bridge to Nowhere".

About the Author

Karen Fish is a writer currently living in Los Angeles, California. The Temple of Love http://www.thetempleoflove.com