Cancer - The first 15 days of this month you are going to be walking on air, which isn't normal for a water sign. Are you scared yet? You are not happy unless there is something to bitch about, so on July 26th, the bottom will fall out from under your world. You will momentarily regain your senses on July 30. Happy Birthday!
Leo - You could be feeling rather neglected and abandoned until July 12th, and the worst thing that can be done to the cowardly lion is to ignore him. If you can keep from committing suicide, the rest of the month will be for celebrating. Tell your partner to just forget any help from you until after the eclipses, but then, they probably already know that.
Virgo - The tricks were down last month, and you're starving. At least cash is flowing again, even if you have been stealing it. There is a good chance you will be in a car accident over the July 4th weekend, but there is also a good chance you will be miraculously healed on July 6th. You will get arrested for stealing that money on July 10th, but you will get released on July 29th.
Libra - Just about everything that happens this month is going to irritate the hell out of you. Nothing is going to balance for you, not even your checkbook. A Leo will approach you the weekend of July 11th and tell you everything you've wanted to hear. They will flatter you, and promise commitment, and they will also persuade you to max-out your credit cards. And no matter how hard you try, that Leo won't leave until July 31st.
Scorpio - There's no hope, so just give up. Nobody will give a crap about you this month, no matter how hard you yell and scream. Just remember, "revenge is a dish best served cold." Start constructing that bomb now, and you will be ready in time for the elections.
Sagittarius - By July 2nd, you should notice that a Libra is picking on you, and then she brings her Leo boyfriend into the argument on July 6th. Life could become explosive on July 15th, or you may decide to become a porn star. You will be kidnapped by a Gemini on July 19th, but an Aries will rescue you on July 26th.
Capricorn - You've got your force field up this month, and no matter how many times that Libra and that Leo try to attack you, they won't succeed. A Cancer will touch your heart on July 7th, and an Aries will punch you in the nose on July 10th. That Cancer you thought was so sweet only a couple weeks earlier will show you what crabby really means on July 21st. On July 26th, you will be abducted by aliens and told the secrets of the universe.
Aquarius - A Gemini and a Taurus will be conspiring to murder you over the July 4th weekend. If you live through it, you will fall in love with a Leo on July 14th. You are known for your suddenness, so it won't come to any surprise to people who know you when you marry that Leo on July 22nd. The honeymoon will be over by July 30th, and you will file for divorce on August 1st.
Pisces - You may witness a murder over the July 4th weekend, and then you will get drunk and try to convince yourself it didn't happen. A Cancer will come to visit on July 10th, but watch out, because they will also be stealing your identity. That Cancer will be back with a male accomplice on July 15th, and this time they just steal your car. You will be dealing with some momentary insanity on July 20th, but you should recover by July 22nd. A Libra will become your drinking buddy on July 30th.
Aries - You will meet a virgin and fall in love on July 1st, but as usual, you will neglect to tell your other two girlfriends that you have moved on. Your ex's will confront you on July 6th, and you will all be arraigned on July 10th. You will post bail on July 15th, and your mother will call on July 16th. A Sagittarius and a Cancer will persuade you to go out on July 26th, but if you go home with that Libra you could get an STD. Your Cancer friend will pick a fight with you on July 28th.
Taurus - Your luck runs out on July 2nd, and if you are still behind in the rent, you will be forced to sell some of your (junk) valuable possessions. An Aquarius will teach you some new tricks on July 6th, and a Cancer may even pay you to do them on July 13th. The rest of the month, you will just plod along and do nothing, until a Pisces friend shows up with a bottle of gin on July 30th. You won't remember anything else until August 3rd when you wake-up in jail.
Gemini - You will exit the "Marrakesh Express" on July 1st, and reality will come crashing down. Someone will rack up a big bill on your credit card over July 4th weekend, and you are going to spend the rest of the month sorting out the financial mess. You will witness a crime on July 10th and start running around screaming like Chicken Little. The offender will be arrested on July 14th, and you will be implicated on July 15th. Charges will be dropped on July 26th, and you will set a building on fire on July 29th.
About the Author
Bitching Blaze is a fictional character and resident Astrologer at PsychicBitch.com where you get absolutely free psychic readings and the absolute truth. http://www.psychicbitch.com/
The real Bitching Blaze is Sparrow Moon and you can read her daily and monthly astrology forecasts, and keep up on current astrology trends. http://www.sparrowmoon.com/
(This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and th
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