The Real Estate King, The Energy Czar and the Free SEO Sage by Gene Schwerman

Just before the 2008 November presidential election, George W. Bush calls a meeting between himself, The Real Estate King, The Energy Czar and the Free SEO Sage. California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger had said in a recent interview that he would be open to the idea of serving as Energy Czar in a Barack Obama administration. That announcement, then, recognizes the energy czar, if not the relevance of a meeting with George W. or the purpose of the The Real Estate King or the Free SEO Sage at this meeting.

For 25 years, a little-known real estate entrepreneur and former cable TV marketing executive from the San Fernando Valley had been pitching the Bush family, in his spare time, on the idea of buying Baja California from Mexico. Both Bush and Mexico's new president were desperate for a big announcement. Bush hated limping around the Rose Garden on webbed feet. His Mexican counterpart needed a rocket like announcement to make his supporters forget about all of his campaign promises. The real estate King saw his opportunity. He had his friend from Exxon send George W. his speculation that there might be as much as $3 trillion or more worth of oil in the gulf between Baja and Mexico. There might be another two trillion or more off Baja’s western coast, he added.

The meeting took place at George W’s ranch in Crawford, Texas. The president of Mexico arrived two hours early for the signing, midway through the other meeting, and along with the proposed sales contract, produced a map of Baja nearly the size of Baja, which the five of them, including Laura, attempted to control during the 15 mile an hour winds, common to Crawford Texas. Felipe De Jesus CALDERON Hinojosa repeatedly expressed his concerns about the mechanics of the deal on the table, or hovering above the table as it were. However, his concerns were simply details in the grand scheme of George W’s last grand scheme, and George just kept waving them aside. In the end Felipe was simply appalled that the president of the free world could not produce a salt shaker heavy enough to hold down a 48 square foot map of Baja. During one large arid gust of wind The Real Estate King leaned over to the Free SEO Sage and whispered, "Jeez, this is gonna be a hell of a lot more fun than owning Lake Tahoe."

"And even more profitable," replied the Free SEO Sage.

After an embarrassing amount of time attempting to refold the Baja map involving no less than half a dozen CIA operatives along with the entire rest of the gathering, Felipe Calderon took his leave. George W then grilled Arnold for a few minutes about hydrogen cars and solar energy, both men assuming any update on wind would be unnecessary, for George W, if not downright redundant. He then turned his full attention to the Free SEO Sage.

"OK, Sage, now walk me through this redistribution of wealth I’m supposed to sell the American people on one more time, kinda slowly, could you?"

"Sure Mr. President," the Free SEO Sage responded. "but it is just a fairer way to redistribute search engine rankings, sir, It really isn’t going to redistribute the country’s wealth," The Free SEO Sage replied.

"Look, you tell me what it actually is going to do and what it isn’t going to do and I’ll tell you what spin we are going to put on the whole thing, and then we’ll decide whether it will redistribute wealth."

"Fair enough, Mr. President, what I’m suggesting, Sir, is that we make it fairer and easier for the U. S. Small Businessman to get positioned well in the search engines ; that we help them Optimize their websites for a small commission on web sales if they want to, rather than pay up front through the nose for search engine placement. We are just suggesting that if you announce that you have negotiated for it, Sir, you might be seen as a hero. We think it will be very popular."

"I see."

So basically, sir, if in the waning days of your administration you buy Baja, solve the entire high oil price issue, pump trillions into the real estate market by reselling all of Baja over here at what might be quintuple the current value of the properties as they are still Mexican owned, not to mention the expansion of the property tax base, you steal Obama’s thunder by naming Arnold, the only logical person in the entire country, as Energy Czar, and you create a new balance on the internet, which will be perceived by many as the initial step in harnessing that sleeping giant, Sir, it could cause history to completely rethink your entire presidency," prophesied the Free SEO Sage. "Worst case," Mr. President, "that Baja contract in your pocket, which gives the U S the oil and mineral rights to all of the waters surrounding Baja all the way over to the new Western shore of Mexico, will be hailed as the most brilliant piece of negotiation since the Louisiana Purchase.

"I see," said the president, smiling broadly at the Free SEO Sage. "I think I see."

About the Author

Gene Schwerman is the founder and head marketing consultant for Truly Unique Website Design. Truly Unique works on websites of all varieties, such as www.freeseosage.com, where you can find Free SEO and Free Search Engine Optimization.