Ugly People by BIVO

I was just presented with that awkward moment the other day when I was at the mall and saw a friend from a previous job who was walking their newborn in a stroller. As I had not seen her in a few years we were somewhat excited to see each other but I was also dreading it too. A couple of weeks back, I had received a correspondence from my friend which was coupled with a picture of what I believe was their baby son. To say he is not an attractive child is quite the understatement but now I was faced with Quasimodo in person. I wasn’t sure if staring directly at him would turn me to stone but I didn’t know how to avoid it and pulling out a mirror would have been awkward so I ventured forth. As incipiently forecasted, he is an ugly child for sure. Yes I know that is rude, insensitive, judgmental, shallow, and absolutely not this young newborns fault but you have to call it like you see it. Of course, I commented to her that her son was an adorable child just like the rest of her litter.

The fault here lies with the parents. They have had four other kids (three boys and one girl) and they are all scary beyond all reason too. The parents are exceedingly unattractive also so it stands to reason (and has been proven out over 5 kids) that their offshoots will, in kind, be unsightly. And then when these kids grow up, they will spawn ugly kids, and the cycle will continue. Therefore, the simple and only plausible solution is for these people to quit having kids! Why are all the unattractive people of the world procreating at a faster rate then the attractive ones? Can’t we as a society establish a law prohibiting excessive ugly people from procreating? We are forced to protect ourselves from ourselves with such laws as seat belt laws, helmet laws, excessive taxes and restrictions on smokers (all of which I agree with by the way) so this seems like a plausible thing for us to mandate since the parents obviously can’t seem to realize the error of their ways! I did, two homely kids later and I knew it was time to quit, why can’t others! Come on people do your part, all kids are not beautiful. Bringing them into this world is a beautiful and amazing thing but remember that they do grow up and thus do them, and society, a favor and “Just Say No”.

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